VIII.3 : VISIONS

So, for the past three or so years...

I've been pondering how I was going to:

1. "write content" without wanting to imploding in a fit of rage due to feeding the machine,

2. "keep people updated" without burning what little mental bandwidth I have to socialize with others, and

3. stick to the plan of finally "getting new material off the ground" without fear of getting bored and pivoting off and away to something else.

Turns out I already had a working system for that and I needlessly abandoned it. Oops.

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For those that didn't know, I used to drop rather detailed quarterly updates. At first, they started as a running joke between me and a couple of friends and family, but if you commit to a joke long enough it eventually becomes something quite serious (or is at least a reflection of what you actually believe in).

And indeed, I came to take it very seriously.

It became a way to keep myself on track by way of making a promise for the few people that read those updates. Curiously, if I tell someone that I'm going to do something, I'm far more inclined to honor that commitment. Telling myself that I'll do something often has me telling myself "Oh yeah? Heh, well, we'll see about that won't we, bucko."

So naturally, when I decided to terminate that mechanism I had going for myself, I more or less dispersed into a bunch of different directions.

What happened?

In short, I buried myself into my own head. And it became quite the puzzle to get myself out of the labyrinth I made in there.

Creating and finishing Metaforma was enough of a doozy.

Trying to find somewhere else to go after that created a whole host of problems.

How could all that I've made be improved further?

How can it benefit people? Because apparently it did that. Not sure how.

Can it be done deliberately? Is it measurable?

What if I don't want it to strictly be yet another therapeutic method?

What if it gets stuck being that and it can't grow to become that gigantic thing I keep envisioning it to be?

What even is this thing anyway? This idea?

Most especially the last one. Just endless self-quibbling about what any of what I'm doing is all about. Well this is clearly a vision. But what is in that vision?

This is the personal conclusion I came to:

Visions, Dreams & Desires

Why try to define a vision when it will always be far larger than you could speak or conceive? Why try to define it when definition generally tends to constrict, box-in, and limit all of what something could possibly be?

I found that It's best that a vision isn't defined for that reason. And once that established definition has been filled, the vision calcifies, becoming stone before crumbling to dust. You're left with nothing, wondering how you could ever hope to capture the magic that was the first vision. Maybe you've got it like that. Maybe you've already generated (and constantly hold onto) countless visions and dreams. But I've only ever had one. And when mine began to petrify, I lost any and all motivation to continue developing it because the end was already in sight. And so, it was abandoned in favor of the ephemeral, ever-changing shadow that the original vision had cast.

As an eventual consequence, this past quarter has mostly been spent coming to terms with what I was even trying to create. And if it feels like I'm dancing around the topic of what that actually is, it's only partially intentional. Visions, I think, must be slippery things. Nebulous. Out from their shadowy depths are born wondrous things that only ever hint about their own origins. It's a mystery to the viewer, and ideally, somewhat of a mystery to the one putting in the work to see the vision realized, and only those creations are, in themselves, definite and clear to as many as possible.

Personal desire, in all its various sizes, shapes, and general manifestations, is ineffable. And inevitable. Plenty of people know what must be done in their own lives and they see it through, despite all obstacles. And here, triumph is sure and true, not just in pursuit of some grand, all-encompassing life purpose, but even in banality and mundanity. In all of the smaller, simpler, aspects of life and day-to-day living.

And likewise, I know what I must do and that I shall, in some way, triumph.

And it begins with small, simple steps.

So, first things first:

What am I actually going to be doing?

I'm going to be fleshing out Nexumorphic.

And this time, I'm going to do it properly. Or at least, as properly as I can; I intended to have the website up and ready to go, but in my financial miscalculation, I ended up 50 cents short; how very typical of me to have tiny oversights when I finally decide launch something.

This will be solved within two weeks, though.

And when it is, you'll be able to find the homepage of the website here.

So for now, I'll provide a list of all of what I intend to create, divided into two distinct categories: for betterment and for wonderment. The former, for the sake of others' self-development and discovery of their own strengths, weaknesses, principles, and more. The latter, for fictions and stories made specifically to spark inspiration and wonder for all that shall witness it, based on the contents of the former.

For Betterment

• a central resource for the "nine fragments",

• helpful worksheets and journals for your own reflection and self-development, as well as

• infographics and

• possibly books

For Wonderment

• abstract lexicon

• fine art series

• concept art collections

• soundscapes & music

• games of all kinds

• literature

• possibly graphic novels and

• possibly animated films

Seems like a lot. Maybe it is.

We'll find out if that's actually the case.

Quarterly Goals

As is customary for my quarterly updates, I'm going to lay down some goals that I expect to be finished by the end of the quarter. This will keep me on track, hold me accountable for what I promise, and give you, the reader, something to look forward to.

This is what must be done by April 15th:

• all of the Praxis content for the Nine Fragments

• at least three worksheets based on that content

Something manageable.

And if I complete what's listed, I'll report the extra work that was done, too.

So, what more can be expected?

What's in it for you if you stick around?

You'll receive the following:

• updates on the development of these projects, biweekly, monthly, quarterly, and annually

• reflections about what it means to create and how to develop a better relationship with your own creative process

• insight into the process of bringing these projects to completion

• inspiration to motivate you to start your own endeavors and

• mental tools to overcome the challenges you'll face in pursuit of your endeavors

Biweekly updates on the 7th and 21st of every month.

Quarterly updates on the 15th of January, April, July, and October.

And on the months I send quarterlies, there won't be any biweeklies for that month.

So, that's two emails from me every month.

Sometimes, only one.

If that's too much and/or you're disinterested in how all of this is going to go, don't subscribe, enjoy your peace, and all else you prefer.

Otherwise, stick around.

Interesting things are definitely on the horizon.

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Want to know what I've been doing for a living these past few years?

Making things for other people.

These are just a few examples of custom-made pieces, all personalized, and most importantly, hand-crafted.

You'll be asked five questions to assess your personal values.

Your answers will be used to create a thematic story.

And your story will take the form of an illustration in the style seen above.

Have ideas and want to get started?

Shoot me a message

Let's see what we can make.

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That's all I have for you so far.

When the site is launched, I'll break my rule of "only one email on the times I send out a quarterly update" and send you a direct link to it.

And then I'll hopefully not need to break that rule again, save for emergencies.

Until then,

👋